Quantifying criticism

Critics are guilty of devaluing their craft, by falling into the 21st Century malaise of wanting to reduce argument to a numeral, seduced by its certainty (cf Garry Mulholland’s The 261 Greatest Albums Since Punk And Disco). Pitchfork grade albums, according to some obscure mathematical formula that utilises the Dewey System, thus treating criticism on quantitative terms – but how are they able to categorise a work such as Sonic Youth’s Daydream Nation as a ‘perfect’ 10? This not only assumes a positivist approach – now seen as incomplete when it comes to determining much of human emotion – but also a perfect conflagration of events during which the listening experience must have taken place – ie: the weather outside, the quality of coffee drank beforehand, the sound quality of the recording system, the friends on hand for reassurance, and so on.