How to Review Music - a 10-step Guide

Step One: is the band any good? Say so.
Step Two: does the band have an interesting back story? Ignore it.
Step Three: is the band male? Probably not worth listening to.
Step Four: does the band sound like 1,000 other bands? Really? Are you sure? Don't believe you.
Step Five: what sort of music does the band play? Worked it out yet? Good, ignore it.
Step Six: is the band in favour with any of the sites/mags currently in vogue? Yes? Time to get out the scissors.
Step Seven: does the band claim that "It's all about the music and if anyone else likes it, it's a bonus?" Bin them.
Step Eight: does the band sound like Radiohead? Bin them.
Step Nine: does the band look like Radiohead? Bin them.
Step Ten: is the band Radiohead? Bin them.
Steps 11-50,000: is the band any good? Say so.